Selective Outrage

Over the course of the Mulika Campaign, I had the opportunity to listen to a wide range of
perspectives on rape and defilement, and my verdict is clear: we have a serious problem.

You may ask, what exactly is the problem? It’s the narratives I have heard to justify why a child
was defiled and why a young woman was raped. I heard statements like ‘Mbona hawasemi?’
(Why don’t they speak up?) or ‘She asked for it’ even in horrifying cases where people claim
that a child somehow convinced a grown man to have sex with her. Some blamed the way
victims dress code, as if clothing justifies violence, among other statements that are centered
around holding victims accountable for the role they played in being defiled or raped and never
the perpetrator. In some of these conversations, it was obvious to me that the accounts given as
to why the victim is to blame were inflated exaggerations.

As I write this, I reflect on the many conversations that I am sure most of us continue to hear
around how “our country is going to the dogs and our leaders are just horrible” and my response
every time is, our leaders are a reflection of us. At the level of communities, we are not
accountable to the ills that are plaguing those that are vulnerable among us and turn away from
addressing them or shifting focus to other things entirely. It turns out there’s actually a fallacy
that perfectly captures what runs through my mind every time I hear us complaining about
everything else while avoiding conversations about rape and defilement.

This form of deflection isn’t just common in how we respond to sexual violence. We see it in our
political life too; which brings me to the Red Herring Fallacy; this is a tactic where attention is
diverted from the real issue by introducing something irrelevant to the topic being discussed or
less pressing.

Let us apply the Red Herring fallacy to Kenya’s current political environment. Every time we
take to the streets to demand accountability, functioning systems, and an end to corruption, the
response is often, “But look, we have the affordable housing project and SHIF!” Instead of
addressing the core concerns of broken institutions and systemic rot, leaders deflect with
unrelated “achievements” and urge us to “be grateful.” This is the Red Herring Fallacy at work,
shifting focus from legitimate grievances by spotlighting something else entirely, so that the real
issues remain unaddressed and unresolved.

Do not get lost, this is still about rape and defilement and how we are falling as communities; I
just wanted to make a point from a position that most of us can relate to.

So, why did I title this blog Selective Outrage?
Because we’ve mastered the art of diversion. We raise our voices about everything else;
politics, the economy, the cost of living, but when it comes to rape and defilement, we fall silent
or start shifting blame. Why is it so hard for us to agree that rape and defilement are among the
most violent invasions of a person’s dignity, innocence, and being? Why do we twist the
narrative to make the perpetrators look like victims just because a girl wore something
“revealing”?

Could it be because we know the perpetrators personally? Because they are our friends, family
members, or neighbors and calling them out would mean disrupting our comfort?
Or maybe, deep down, it’s because some among us could easily be perpetrators too, people
who haven’t acted, not for lack of intent, but for lack of opportunity. And if that’s the case, then
holding others accountable would mean eventually holding yourself accountable too.

Rapists and pedophiles don’t need our empathy. They need to face justice. And survivors, no matter
what they wore, where they were, or how they spoke, deserve to be believed, protected, and
heard.

Remember: when we stay silent about the issues we consider “small,” we lose the moral
authority to defend the ones we deem “bigger.” True accountability begins with confronting the
injustices closest to us only then can we stand boldly on national matters.

Allow me to take us back to the state of our country.

Today, a large part of the Kenyan population agrees that we’re on the wrong path, but it took us
a long time to get here. Why? Because for the most part, people stayed silent until the
consequences started to affect them directly. As long as the bad decisions didn’t touch our
pockets, our homes, or our families, we looked the other way.

Now, I ask, how many more children must be defiled? How many more women must be raped
before you care enough to speak up?
Will it take someone you love being harmed for you to finally say, “This is enough”?
Because sadly, that seems to be our breaking point, as it was with politics, and now,
heartbreakingly, with sexual violence.

While communities face many pressing challenges, such as poverty, unemployment, and
insecurity, these concerns should not overshadow the urgency of addressing rape and
defilement. One issue does not cancel out the other. A healthy, just society must be able to
respond to multiple injustices at once because justice is not a limited resource. It must be
extended to every victim without delay, without shame, and without justification.

The real question isn’t which issue deserves more attention, but why sexual violence continues
to be the one we most easily ignore, excuse, or delay.

Whether we do it knowingly or not, we are falling, rape and defilement is widespread, and it is
killing our children, girls are dropping out of school, boys are not safe either just in case there
are those who will read this and think “but what about boys?”  
Years ago, I heard a quote that still guides me today: ‘We can only ever be as strong as our
weakest link.’ Think about that as you reflect on how you respond to the violence against those
who are vulnerable among us.